I had a doctor appointment this past week and she asked when my last period was.
Of course, I don’t remember. I never could. But I do know that’s it’s been over one year now.
So that puts me in the postmenopause phase of menopause. Good news! Yah! I made it through perimenopause, early menopause & menopause.
It’s for real ladies. If you’re wondering why you feel funky, blah, uninterested, unmotivated, undesirable, pissed off, sad, hopeless, – google where you’re at in phases of menopause.
My hot flashes are less frequent, sex hurts (sometimes) but I’m back to having it, my night sweats are done, my moods are pretty even keel except for my anxiety has revved up a bit (especially during the winter months).
If you’ve been with me for awhile and have been wondering where I was, well, now you know – I’ve been going through the last 2 stages of menopause, and it sucked – yet I believe it’s what we’re supposed to experience.
Now it’s a fresh start to begin something new with all the feels felt, and new ones to experience with a wisdom like no 30 year old can even fathom.
And I don’t think she should. At 30, even 40, you need to do you “as is”, with no 50 year old warning you about what’s to come. It’s your own unique journey that needs to be taken.
However, it need not be taken alone. Once you’re on the path of menopause, company along the way is priceless.
I’m so thankful for those who have stuck by me through it all, caring, loving, and accepting me “as is”, even on the darkest of days.
However, fresh starts can be scary.
I’m scared right now.
Sending out new posts after taking so much time off is making my belly queasy.
But it’s time to begin again.
I used to wonder why I stopped writing.
We can be so hard on ourselves for things we can’t control.
Looking back now, over the months of my time off, I’m finally at peace with it.
I know that my mind, body, heart & soul needed me to be in those moments paying close attention.
My relationships with who matter most to me have deepened, especially with my husband, Mike.
My body has returned to it’s natural weight, I lost nearly 20 pounds, and I feel stronger than I have since I was in my 20’s.
My heart is speaking to me with such clarity that I no longer doubt what it desires, I just go with it.
My soul feels fulfilled and satisfied with how my lifestyle is going these days.
My mind where the nasty voices of doubt, shame, and confusion hang out are quieter than ever before in my life.
Sure, I still have days that cause me to feel anxious, darn those heart palpitations.
I still worry a bit about money, sickness, or some unknown tragedy that could ruin everything good in my life.
But I’m sleeping through the nights (I had a spell where I was awake from 3am on).
I’m interested in things like decorating my house, playing in my gardens, seeing friends (yeah, I dropped out of the social scene for a bit), writing, learning how to hand letter and watercolor, and I’m thinking about offering some of classes again (whoa – let’s not get ahead of myself).
For a few years I was in a funk, and all things took way too much effort to even attempt. But now I feel more me again, but a new me, a stronger brighter prettier me.
So here I go, I’ll send this post live here, and you’ll get it if you’re on my list (thanks for opening my email, I know it’s been like forever ago since you’ve heard from me).
I’ve included a few snaps below on the workshop I went to a week ago. I’ll write more about it next week! I was happy to be there, I actually shed a tear.